How to overcome a devastating disappointment. What exactly is disappointment, it’s a sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations.
We’ve all been disappointed at some point in our lives but the key to success is getting past it without WITHERING to pieces. This year has dealt us all some type of disappointment whether it be a loss of income or the loss of a loved one due to the NASTY Covid pandemic.
Difficult turmoil around the world can also add to our daily stressors and heighten our reaction to negative news. How have you made it through. The new year is approaching us and I don’t know about you but I want to start off the new year with a sense of purpose, a new attitude if you may.
This article is written to help prepare us for when things don’t go our way and how best to deal with it.
Our capacity to survive and overcome swiftly from the disappointments that are a part of our everyday lives isn’t automatic, we have to work at it. It won’t happen over night. Here are some insights to help you succeed.
Honor Your Emotions. Overcome a Devastating Disappointment
we can not always choose what disappointments come into our lives but we have power over how we respond to them. Allowing our thoughts to go the negative side of our emotions is what we do not want but we can control it.
Take the time to validate your feelings but don’t stay in that emotion for too long. Acknowledge it and then move on. Pay attention to any anxiousness you might be feeling due to the disappointment so that stress does not become overwhelming.
Find an activity that can help with that stress, like meditating, walking, listening to music, watching a favorite comedy show, something to alleviate that stress. Stress has a way of making something worse, so be sure to nip it in the bud.
Pay attention to your thoughts, if you see yourself thinking about the disappointment and or feel your stress level rising, make it a point to do something everyday to combat the stress, calm yourself, tell yourself it is not the end of the world, think positivity into existence.
How to Perceive Disappointment.
Perception, a way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something; a mental impression. It is the biggest obstacle in handling a disappointment in a way that will benefit us or enhance our lives. In many ways, our perception of the disappointment is more important than anything. The better we are at perceiving the disappointment “what can I learn from this” kind of thought process, the better we will be able to process the disappointment.
Also, asking ourselves, will this particular situation matter to me in the future. Obviously a loss of a loved will probably always be important to us but learning to overcome the pain is the best way to get past this type of pain.
Often times, asking this question will bring you back to the present. It’s awful that you didn’t get that promotion, but is it the end of the world, are there other positions that are just as good? You were not able to lose the weight you needed to lose right before the vacation you had planned for, but again, it is not the end of the world. You can rearrange your wardrobe accordingly…it’s ok.
Turn that disappointment into something positive, after all, its all about how we perceive the disappointment. You may not have gotten that job but who knows, there could be a better one waiting on you. Although, you did not lose the weight you hoped to have lost, the bathing suit looks MORE fabulous than the one you originally wanted to wear. Look at these disappointments with a glass half full type of mentality not half empty outlook. It makes a difference.
Let Your Feelings Out. Overcome A Devastating Disappointment
It’s perfectly normal to FEEL unbelievably troubled and insulted, so acknowledge it…accept your suffering.
- Don’t feel like you should not be expressing your feelings. This doesn’t necessarily mean doing so in public. Though, letting out your feelings is more healthier than suppressing them.
- Nevertheless, avoid taking it out on other people. For instance, if you felt you were the best candidate for a position and it was given to someone else, sending the hiring manager a piece of your mind probably is not the thing to do. Another position could come up or even that same one and your outburst would definitely secure a “no” on that job.
Be grateful. Overcome A Devastating Disappointment
You may be thinking, Grateful? How can I be grateful at a time like this?— which is exactly why you should stop feeling sorry for yourself about whatever it is that went wrong and start thinking about all of the things that are “going right” in your life. More than likely, you have way more than you think to be thankful for: your health, a wonderful spouse, kids, family, a job. You see!
Keeping a gratitude journal is the best way to remind yourself what you have to be grateful for. Here are some tips for journaling for a more successful “thought” life. I also have a gratitude journal download on my resources page. Download as many as you need!
Jason Marsh at Greater Good Magazine list these next 6 tips for keeping a gratitude journal.
Don’t just go through the motions. Research suggests that journaling is more effective if you first make the conscious decision to become happier and more grateful.
Go for depth over breadth. Elaborating in detail about a particular thing for which you’re grateful carries more benefits than a superficial list of many things.
Get personal. Focusing on people to whom you are grateful has more of an impact than focusing on things for which you are grateful.
Try subtraction, not just addition. One effective way of stimulating gratitude is to reflect on what your life would be like without certain blessings, rather than just tallying up all those good things.
Savor surprises. Try to record events that were unexpected or surprising, as these tend to elicit stronger levels of gratitude.
Don’t overdo it. Writing occasionally (once or twice per week) is more beneficial than daily journaling. In fact, one study found that people who wrote in their gratitude journals once a week for six weeks reported boosts in happiness afterward; people who wrote three times per week didn’t. “We adapt to positive events quickly, “It seems counterintuitive, but it is how the mind works.”
Take Some Time To Get Past This Hurt.
It’s ok to let your feelings out and to recognize that you’re feeling a certain way. Nonetheless, wadding around in self-pity cannot be done for an extended period of time. There is no time frame on how long this should take; but getting on the positive bandwagon now, the sooner you’ll be able to make a plan for success. Some other ways to take a time out are;
- Immerse yourself into physical activity. Getting those endorphins up always makes a difference.
- Although, spending some quite time may be good, try not to isolate for too long, as prolonged isolation may not be good either.
- Listen to music always helps. Decide what genre motivates, inspires or lifts your spirits the most and go with it.
Breathing Techniques. Overcome A Devastating Disappointment
I happen to be a fan of breathing techniques to get stress out of your body, to remind yourself what you should be thinking about and to reset your thought process. Study these techniques and decide which if not all can make a difference for you.
1. Lengthen your exhale
Inhaling deeply may not always calm you down. Taking a deep breath in is actually linked to the sympathetic nervous system, which controls the fight-or-flight response. But exhaling is linked to the parasympathetic nervous system, which influences our body’s ability to relax and calm down.
2. Abdomen breathing
Breathing from your diaphragm (the muscle that sits just beneath your lungs) can help reduce the amount of work your body needs to do in order to breathe.
3. Equal breathing
Another form of breathing that stems from the ancient practice of pranayama yoga is equal breathing. This means you’re inhaling for the same amount of time as you’re exhaling.
4. Resonant breathing
Resonant breathing, also called coherent breathing, can help you calm anxiety and get into a relaxed state. To try it yourself:
- Lie down and close your eyes.
- Gently breathe in through your nose, mouth closed, for a count of six seconds.
- Don’t fill your lungs too full of air.
- Exhale for six seconds, allowing your breath to leave your body slowly and gently. Don’t force it.
5. Yogic breathing (pranayama)
One form of yoga, pranayama, includes multiple breathing variations that may help with anxiety. Some of these include lengthened exhale and equal breathing (both featured above), as well as lion’s breath and alternate nostril breathing (nadi shodhana).
6. Guided meditation
Some people use guided meditation to alleviate anxiety by interrupting patterns of thinking that perpetuate stress.
You can practice guided meditation by sitting or lying in a cool, dark, comfortable place and relaxing. Then, listen to calming recordings while relaxing your body and steadying your breathing.
Guided meditation recordings help take you through the steps of visualizing a calmer, less stressed reality. It can also help you gain control over intrusive thoughts that trigger anxiety.
Serenity prayer
I always like to remind myself of this, try it for yourself. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.
Be Blessed…Stay Safe